How to Actually Relax Physically and Mentally

(even though you’ve got a ton of stuff to do)

Read Time: 5 minutes

Teacher: “Raise your hand if you make time to rest and relax everyday”

Me: […sits there pouting with both hands allll thee way down] 

Yes y’all, let’s just go ahead and form a choir ‘cause I know we’re all singing the same song!

We. Are. Busy.

We all have school, work, kids, relationships to maintain, or all of the above. Work, alone, is about 40 hours of our weeks (by the way, America, we need to talk about that…). 

We are juggling so many balls, and it’s only a matter of time until one of them drops!

Do we never really relax?

When I say relax, I’m not talking about sleep, I’m talking about mental and physical rest, together, while awake. 

I know one of you is saying, “what is this ‘relax’ you speak of?”

Do we know how that even looks? Do we know how to do this?

I’ll be honest, I think I’ve only recently learned.

Let me tell you what it’s not. It’s not, “anything besides work”, it’s not chores, and it’s not even sleep.

Google defines relax as to “make or become less tense or anxious”. I’d agree with that, my even simpler definition would be that relaxing is doing something that releases our tension or anxiety and does not feel like a chore.

Relaxing can be “doing nothing”, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that either. 

LOL, I’m not trying to make this complicated, I’m just sayin’.

So, let’s get into it!

We often think relaxing is about the things we’re not doing, when really, it’s about what we are doing.

Follow me. 

Do Something

We think relaxing means “I’m not working”, “I’m not doing homework”, “I’m not doing housework”, “I’m not running errands”, so that means I’m relaxed, right?

Sorry, but no Sir/Ma’am!

Because even if we aren’t doing all those things, what are you doing? Thinking of your next move, your to-do list, probably scrolling through social media (which may be relaxing to some, but I don’t find it relaxing at all).

So, doing nothing does not necessarily mean you are at rest. Relaxing does not mean “doing nothing”, it means doing something that brings you peace and puts your mind at ease.

I know this probably sounds completely counterproductive. 

Do something that is therapeutic to you, something you enjoy and that brings you peace and makes you feel like you. It can be creative, listening to music, working out, cooking (for some that’s actually therapeutic), meditation, reading, watching a movie. Whatever it is, figure out it out and do it! It won’t be the same for everyone, and that’s ok.

Rest Your Thoughts

When we do nothing, you know what happens? Our minds start to wander. You know, I think of our minds as a wobbly, curious toddler. You need to keep it busy, or it’ll get you into some trouble, right?

We’d be remiss to talk about true relaxation and rest without addressing mental rest. Yes! We all have been there, lying down, maybe even trying to go to sleep, but our minds are going like 100 mph. That’s not rest. Might look like it on the outside, but definitely does not feel like it. We keep this in check a couple of ways.

One is my previous point in “doing something”. When your mind is focused on that creative thing, or the movie, the workout, etc. There’s no room for the empty thoughts. 

Try not to think about all the things you think you need to think about.

(that’s easy enough, right?)

Make Time for It

• Make time for your rest. For some of us, we need to plan the time into our hectic days, and that’s ok. In fact, I think it’s a great idea! There are a few benefits to planning your rest:
  1. You make the time! No more thinking you don’t have time to relax. Make the time. Look at your calendar or your plans for the day and fit it in. It can be 15 minutes, it can be 1 hour, whatever works for you. But something is better than nothing. Block it out and take a breather for that set time. No work, no phone maybe, no busy thoughts. Just breathing and letting your mind have a break or doing your therapeutic thing. 
  2. Sometimes you have to be intentional. Most of the time, we say, “ok, I’m going to take some rest time this evening”, and does it happen? No! Because we let all this other stuff just take over, next thing you know, it’s time to go to bed, wake up, and do it all over again. Planning this time gives you a chance to get the work and obligations in order so you can be set for your relaxation time. 
  3. It can make you more productive because it gives you something to look forward to. For example, I know that today, I want to relax and write from 12: pm- 1: pm. So, I’m looking forward to that time because writing is my relaxing, creative outlet. Now, I’m jamming through the mundane, routine tasks so I can stay on track for my scheduled relaxation time. 

Take breaks

• Whether you’re at work, or at school, at home with the kids, wherever, you need to stop! Take a break! One of my favorite things to do is to ask myself “can it wait 30 minutes?”, and the answer is 99.999% of the time, “yes”. Unless it’s for real, a life-or-death situation, I can’t think of too many things that can’t be pushed back 30-minutes in life. Dinner, laundry, homework (unless you’re in a down-to-the-minute time crunch), returning that phone call, it can wait. Yes, it can.
• Don’t be afraid that everything will fall apart because you took 30 minutes, or a whole day off to relax. Trust me, whatever things you needed to do when you left will be waiting for you when you come back to it, and if it’s not, then hey, “Praise God for that”! 

We all work hard. So, we deserve our rest, our bodies need that rest and relaxation just like we need food, clothing, and shelter. We are not machines that can just keep running. Heck, even a machine can’t just keep running forever before it runs out of batteries or starts throwing sparks or something. 

Come to think of it, in a way, that actually kind of does happen to us:

Running out of batteries, for us, can look like: fatigue, exhaustion, and lethargy.

Throwing sparks, for us, can look like: tension, anger, anxiety, or insomnia. 

Bottom line of this Petal:

Take the time to rest, breathe, and relax. Do things that bring you peace and give you the “brain break” you need. We can do it, even if you have to plan it. You deserve it, you need it!

Comment Below! I want to know, what you all do to have daily moments of relaxation. Add your thoughts on all this.